We have had to travel the past 2 weekends. First, to Cape Cod last weekend, and second to Maine this weekend. Both destinations are longer than a 3 hour drive. When it gets to be that long, we typically need a rest stop. And we try to time our trips so that our rest stops coincide with lunch. Which usually means fast food.

I am not an enemy of fast food. I like my fries & onion rings. I like my hockey puck burgers. I know that they are heart attacks in boxes, and that if not contained in a diet properly, can cause arterioschlerosis, massive heart trauma, and liver failure.

I like fast food a lot, and when traveling, I emphasize fast. Meaning, I want to:

• use your clean restroom
• order my food
• receive my food
• eat it quickly and/or leave.

These past 2 weekends both contained a stop at McDonalds. In 2 different towns — 2 different states even. Here’s a recap:

I don’t know. But I’m glad that fast food is still somewhat food.

I just read an article from the Washington Post, describing how major food companies are eliminating many common culinary terms to “dumb down” their recipes, due to culinary illiteracy in the United States.

Here are a few excerpts:

…At a conference last December, Stephen W. Sanger, chairman and chief executive of General Mills Inc., noted the sad state of culinary affairs and described the kind of e-mails and calls the company gets asking for cooking advice: the person who didn’t have any eggs for baking and asked if a peach would do instead, for example; and the man who railed about the fire that resulted when he thought he was following instructions to grease the bottom of the pan — the outside of the pan

…Still, in test kitchens at food giants such as Kraft, the goal is terminology that is “simplistic, and very literal, to make it easy to understand,” Meyers said. Where 20 years ago a recipe for chicken might have said, “dredge the chicken in flour,” today it might say, “coat the chicken in flour.” And instead of saying “sauté,” recipe writers say to “cook over medium heat and stir,” she said.

…A survey conducted by Betty Crocker Kitchens in 2004 showed adults don’t even realize how cooking-challenged they’ve become. The national survey of 1,500 adults found that 70 percent rated themselves “above average” in cooking knowledge, even though only 38 percent scored above average on a 20-question cooking-skills quiz. While 98 percent knew the abbreviation for teaspoon, only 44 percent knew how many teaspoons were in a tablespoon. Even fewer, 34 percent, knew how much uncooked rice is needed to yield one cup of cooked rice.

This is kind of crazy. I am not a culinary master, however I do cook a lot, and both me, and a close girlfriend of mine take a lot of pride in cooking for friends and family. Whenever we have a dinner party with my girlfriend (and her husband too–he’s no slouch in the kitchen either), there is a lot of discussion of good recipes, and “favorite dishes”. And we’re talking about lamb, steak, breads, asian cuisine — even quiches and tarts. I take great pride in cooking well, and knowing terms such as saute, cream, dredge, braise, broil, blanch and fold.

I also know other friends who, have on occasion, called up and asked some pretty silly questions — “How do you boil a potato?” “Can I replace sour cream with milk?” “Is baking soda the same as flour?” — but still. Almost everyone I know doesn’t use their oven as an additional closet (as referenced in the article).

I need to cook more. And, when able, pass this on to my children. That’s all there is to it.

You can find the article here.

This weekend we attended my grandmother’s funeral. It was a touching service, and a lot of her family and friends attended to celebrate and honor her. I got to see almost all of my cousins, and aunts & uncles. A long, but good weekend.

We stayed at the Grand Mariner motor lodge in Yarmouth, Cape Cod. $51.00 per night off-season. During the summer months, its rates are up to $120.00 per night. While not the Hilton, it, and its amenities are definitely reasonable for a summer family outing.

While scoping out the “Grand Marnier” (as Rob calls it) we realized it had a mini-golf course, a few barbeque grills, both an indoor & outdoor pool, a number of common areas with tables for cards & picnicing, and a playground. COMPLETE with a tetherball pole & ball.

Here’s Rob, doing his best impression of Napoleon Dynamite. He’d beat Summer, for sure.

See Rob play himself here.  He wins.

For the last 4 days, I’ve been battling a massive cold. It really knocked me on my butt.

I have been a huge fan of the “Q”.  (NyQuil & DayQuil), but that just didn’t do anything.  Except the NyQuil; that gave me sweats at night and I could have swore I hallucinated Sunday night.  But that’s a different post altogether.

I even tried combining efforts — I also used that Zycam anti-cold thing — where you stick a medicated Q-tip up your nose, and apparently the gellin’ vapors left behind combat the cold for you.  If the Zycam was effective, I would hate to have seen what this cold would have done to me otherwise.

The highlight was Sunday through Monday.  Sunday morning I woke up from those hallucinations, then attempted (stupidly) to go to the gym.  That wiped me out the rest of the day.  I stumbled home, and proceeded to plant myself on the couch.  While blowing through a 1/2 box of tissues, I then attempted to eat dinner (didn’t sit well), and watch TV.

I don’t know if it was dinner, or watching the “Flavor of Love” marathon, but I was naseous.
I think it was Flavor of Love.

For those of you not up on pop culture, this is a “dating” show, where Rapper Flavor Flav (from Public enemy) elimi-dates 20 women (most are B & C-grade reality stars & models) down to his fave girl.  He can’t remember their names, so he gives them nicknames like “New York”, “Hottie”, “Goldie”, and “Hoops”.  Brigitte Neilsen (Sly Stone’s ex-wife & Flav’s ex-lover) drops by to lend a hand in the polygraph tests.  Flav meets their parents, and double-dates them.  Lots of drama, and hootchies.

I wish that cold on no one.

I’m going to miss you.

Gladys Ann (Yates) Fraser 
Age 91, of Dennis Port, MA formerly of Randolph, MA died Saturday, March 11, 2006 at the Eagle Pond Nursing Home after a brief illness. She was the wife of the late Robert Bruce Fraser. They were married for 44 years. She is survived by her children: Robert B. Fraser of Steamboat Springs, Colorado, Susan V. Fraser of Dennis, Massachusetts, James Y. Fraser of Roanoke, Texas, Ellen L. Fraser Young of Livermore, Maine and John M. Fraser of East Taunton, Massachusetts. She also leaves 7 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. She is predeceased by her parents, Robert and Annie Yates and her two sisters, Lillian Louise Yates and Priscilla Isabel Snodgrass. A Funeral Service will be held on Saturday, March 18, 2006 at 1:00 PM in the Doane Beal and Ames Funeral Home, 729 Route 134, SOUTH DENNIS, MA. A visiting time will be held prior from 12:30 PM- 1:00 PM. Burial will be in the Swan Lake Annex Cemetery immediately following the Service.

Jake, Rob & I went to see George Clinton & Parliment Funkadelic at Higher Ground last night.

AWESOME show.  Late night — got home at 1:30.  Up by 6:00.
Needless to say, today was a rough day.

I have decided that the Preuss family is probably, per age & per capita, has had the most run-ins with emergency personnel than any of our other friends. Here’s why:

• 2002: While living in Burlington in our Condo, I head to work. There’s a guy in front of my door. He is disheveled, pants around his knees, no shirt, one foot has a shoe, but no sock; the other foot one sock, but no shoe. I turn to go back inside, he follows me in, and starts to urinate in our 1/2 bath. Rob chases him out of the apartment, and we call the police. While they respond, he urinates in our hallway. Turns out he was the drunk brother of our downstairs neighbors. We get a lovely salsa & chips basket in our hallway that evening.

• 2003: Come home from a nice dinner out. We find a Chevy Lumina mini-van in our driveway. I go in the house, Rob goes behind the house. Cops come up while we’re casing the joint, and inform us a DUI got chased into our driveway. The driver informed them he lived here….RIIIIGHT.

• 2005: Hit & Run.
• 2006: Subpoened for the Hit & Run.
• 2006: Tonight — I come home and all of the smoke alarms & CO detectors are going off. Cats are alive and under the bed. I want to join them. Attempt to troubleshoot the alarms. It’s hell. 45 minutes of 4 screaming smoke alarms. Like I’m in an air raid. Get ahold of Rob (he’s in Detroit Rock City!) and he suggests I call the police. I get 1 flashing police car, 1 flashing engine, 1 flashing pickup truck, 1 police officer (cute & very polite. The gun scares me), and 4 — count them 4 fire fighters. Very nice people. Very helpful. A little scruffy, but nice. They check the house for Carbon monoxide & help me reinstall the alarms. It’s been quiet now for 2 hours. And I appreciate it. Cats are now wandering around. I just ate chikin & biscuits. We’re getting better.

I also wanted to give a great shout out to all my friends; I have great ones. Shawn helped me troubleshoot over the internet, and Selden shows up with batteries & stays with me a bit. The exchange between the firefighters, me and Selden was priceless:

{Selden walks in} S: “Heather, how goes it?”

FF: “Is this your husband?

Me: “No; this is Selden, a friend from college & work. You brought batteries?”

S: “Yup; just like you asked. You OK?”

Me: “Thank you sweetie! Yeah; I’m doing OK.”

FF: “This isn’t your husband. K.”

Yup. We’re pretty sure that we’re gonna break the record for seeing drunk people, seeing drunk people’s cars, getting hit by drunk people’s cars, riding home in cop cars in our jammies, and getting fire fighters over here without using water or flames. Great.